In the body as in sculpture, perfection is not attained when there's nothing left to add, but when there's nothing left to take away.

Tuesday, November 16, 2010

Honestly, its not easy. All i do is think about food all the time. I stare at skinny girls all the time in envy wishing i was them. Sometimes i stare at myself in the mirror and end up sobbing. I was once happy when i was skinny. My mum hated that i was so thin but i loved it. Now i'm so overweight, so bloody obese i'm just a freakin disgusting lump of lard. She always tells me that i look good. But isn't that what mothers are meant to do. I'm done lying to myself. The truth is am a fat disgusting person that no one will ever love. I'm such a fatass. Why can't i just stop eating. You don't deserve food. I don't deserve food, i don't deserve anything. They say perfection can't be achieved but how would they know if they never tried. I want a perfect body, i want a perfect soul. How many times have i created pro ana blogs and deleted them. How many times have i tried to convince myself that i don't need her. Who am i fooling. Ana will probably ruin my life but it will be worth it in the end. I just want to be happy.

9 comments:

  1. I want to be happy too. The sad truth is even though the pounds will drop,so will our moods. It's all a downward spiral from here. We can fool ourselves into thinking we are achieiving happiness but in all reality we are only achieving pain and misery. I know that won't stop you or me for that matter. Don't know what the purpose of this was. Just ignore it.

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  2. unbeautiful said...
    I want to be happy too. The sad truth is even though the pounds will drop,so will our moods.

    - But when you reach your weight goal the feeling is unbelievable and everything is worth it in the end.

    Keep it up because you can do it :)
    <3

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  3. I thought I couldn't live without Stan, and that he would destroy me. But Stan was a stanley knife, and I was the chopping board. But I ditched Stan and found someone new instead. I found me. And me is much better, and me makes me happier than Stan ever could. Stan was jealous, unforgiving, cruel, and a con artist. He promised happiness he couldn't bring, and I gave him plenty of chances! Once I met me, and romanced me, and loved me, I met lots of other people who were loving and supporting too.. my best friends, my family, my wonderful boyfriend... all people that jealous Stan wouldn't let me have. So I told Stan to take a fucking good hike and not to come back, and he fought and I fought and we battled for about a year. But eventually the bastard fucked off. I stopped missing the abusive bastard in that one- sided relationship. And my life started again. And I've never been happier.
    Don't let that absolute BITCH Ana win, tell her to fuck off, maybe her and Stan can make a life together somewhere that me and you don't need them. Good luck, you have all my respect and wishes. Don't stop your fight. Xx

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  4. You deserve all good things. I dream of being beautiful and skinny too....but I know that when I´ll get to skinny I won´t be able to see it...
    Please take care
    xx

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  5. I know exactly how you feel..you're not alone, so many people feel that way.

    Take care of yourself :) Things are much better than they look when you see yourself in the mirror xx

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  6. hey honey!
    ive got a new blog
    would be nice if u follow.

    let-me-be-skinny.blogspot.com

    xoxo

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  7. hun i kno just how you feel, really. hang in there <3 <3 it will get better :)

    you can be loved, and you deserve much mor than you think!

    http://1.bp.blogspot.com/_UTaA6Xl-n7g/TOtU3tCknuI/AAAAAAAAABI/o3UgsqnMyLQ/s640/bk.jpg i read this every day. i actually have a tattoo based on it. just wanted to share it with you <3 <3

    xox

    ReplyDelete

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